Voices

There is a growing realization that in Second Life I am becoming little more than a voice. The reasons are plentiful.

For one, Second Life just doesn't work for me like it used to. My paltry one gig of RAM just isn't cutting it anymore. I should get a better computer, but I won't. I can't afford one and I don't have the urge to attempt to build my own. Turning off Windlight and Voice makes the problem less noticeable, but if someone invites me to a primmy scripty build or a massive event I'm toast. Sunny side up.

And another is that I don't have the urge to do so. Since it rarely works pleasantly, the hassle of trying to run it kills all enthusiasm. And there has been hardly any events which have really caught my eye and whispered, "Attend me, Anna, for I shall be fun and entertaining and pretty please come?" I haven't really gone out to any clubs or live music since around last October. Discussion events have recently seemed to be repetitive and dominated by the same themes: What do the Lindens think of bots? What do we think about man-women (or guyrls, as someone coined)? What do you think causes lag? And so on. Maybe there is nothing left to pick over.

And of course, real life work and business is always intruding. If I have work to do at home, then Second Life is definitely out of the question for even if it worked smoothly alongside other programs (and it doesn't for me) the distraction would lead to nothing getting done at all. And getting fired is on my list of things to avoid, below getting my leg gnawed off and above becoming a Linden. I think in March I might have logged in twice, and never in February. That's how life rolls, I suppose.

The only compulsion for logging in at all is the few friends I've managed to make and keep (i.e. those who haven't completely left Second Life). That's about it. You're all wonderful people and I'm not just saying that because I'm kissing ass. It's a little of both. Also, I would like to add that you are all handsome and beautiful and super smart. Except for you, Bob, you stupid ugly idiot.

Why don't I build? Why don't I script? My theory is that when I can't move, I can't do either. That's a lie, because I can always find a nice quiet corner somewhere in the middle of Nowhere (is that an actual sim?) and peaceably build to my heart's content. I guess I just don't have the inspiration. That's an excuse to mask the truth (which is that I'm lazy).

OK, so now I have a new goal! I shall find something which I will desire to build, and then I will build it! I wish myself good luck.

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