Sunday, February 15, 2009

Mind Control

Today on the street someone was telling me about how GlaxoSmithKline is inserting some mind control formula into all their products and to stop taking their medications unless I wanted to be a drone. This is very frightening stuff, because they are a major drug manufacturer and lots of people down their stuff. If they really are using mind control they could take over the world.

Also, I take one of their products. So at this very moment, I could be under mind control. Who am I really? I wouldn't remember what it was like before mind control because I would be controlled into thinking this has always been normal. I certainly would hold the opinion I was not under mind control because they would be silly to let their victims know about it. So I myself don't think I'm under mind control because by that criteria I'm not, but you can also say that because I don't think I am, I really am.

Why would they want to take control of my mind, anyway? Is GSK really that obsessed about Second Life that they need me? Or do they really need another college student to the ranks of drug zombies? I'm not exactly a famous and high profile person. I guess if I was into their zombie hordes I would be the 'meat shield' or 'cannon fodder', you know, those jobs where they just throw bodies at something in the hope something gets accomplished. Maybe I could apply for mind controlled medic or zombie lab assistant. That's about all I think I'm qualified for, just about. Unless they want another blogger. "Good God, no. We already have billions of those under our control."

I wonder what it was like before I was mind controlled. How does it work? Do I stay the same person but only activated when necessary, or is my entire personality changed and my mind wiped so I think what has been always was? I like being me and I would be pretty upset if suddenly my entire being was changed into someone else. That could be part of the mind control. But I still like the satisfaction of being me. I guess that means I'm addicted to mind control drugs. Hopefully the removal of the mind control element doesn't affect me much and that the mind control element just makes me more susceptible to influence rather than radically changing me.

But if it did radically alter me, I wonder what life would be like, had been like, before I started popping pills. What was high school like? Elementary school? And what would I be like after a few years of brain washing? It's hard for me both because I'm under mind control and also because I have to think about what I would be like if I wasn't me. That won't stop me from making speculations!

I'll bet that before I was being brain washing by excellently engineered chemicals designed to target self control, gullibility, and personality, I was someone super cool. I probably wasn't a blogger because there are a million of those and I wouldn't want to be drowned out in the endless white noise of the internet. This is difficult because I haven't been alive long enough to have much of a past and taking drugs has occupied all of the cool parts. Maybe I was one of those child savants? That would be interesting. I can't think of anything else a high school kid would be. They are pretty boring otherwise.

Let's fast forward into what I'd be without mind control drugs. Let's operate on the assumption that I keep taking the same drugs but now without the mind control element since drugs themselves are ok (well, the regular normal prescribed ones) it is just the mind control aspect that is bad. Let's see here... uh... hmm... I got nothing. Maybe I would be smarter? Or more open minded, because I'm finding it real hard to actively criticize GSK for some reason. I guess without mind control I would find writing this easier.

I live a blissful existence, full of sunshine and daisies. I find it extremely hard to be sad. I do moderately well in school. If this is mind control, I'll take it. As of yet I have never lost long tracks of time so I am confident I don't turn into a total zombie and as of yet I've never felt the compulsion to take to the streets and mob rush City Hall, gain control of local government, and force others to submit to GSK's kind and benevolent rule. If anything, they've done nothing for me as they have the gall to charge me for the privilege of being held under their sway. I don't even have any stock in them. Not like I'd want any, because they're getting creamed by generic competition and the economy at the moment.

In short, I believe you should submit to the GlaxoSmithKline pharmaceutical rulers of the world who are completely good and righteous and will lead us to a grand age of golden lives.

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