Up By Your Bootstraps

How is it possible that Linden Lab, through three changes in leadership and countless hirings and firings of employers, have still not managed to create a good orientation program?

I've been observing this for some time, and it is shocking that the orientation process has seemingly became worse than when I took my first steps five years ago. It was thought that by allowing residents to create their own orientation stations the process would improve but if anything I believe it destroyed it. Too many half ass it, or create infohubs which fail to provide information people want to know, or omit things they believe others just know. Often, their islands and stations aren't even staffed. It's a crapshoot: if you're lucky, you get shuffled to an OI who cares and commits the time necessary to bring day old residents up to speed. If you're unlucky (and more than likely you will), you'll find yourself stranded, isolated save for your fellow newbies, feeling around an otherwise deserted island, wondering what the deal is with all the gray squares and squashed objects.

If it seems I'm being unduly harsh on the Orientation islands, it's because the in-grid infohubs are complete garbage. Today, I sat in on Bear Infohub. For about an hour, a group of midbies (from around 07-08) dominated the infohub, lamenting that hardly anyone was talking on Voice and who was AFK and so on. The newbies were completely ignored save when they greeted everyone. When that group left, the entire batch of newbies were left to their own devices. There were no mentors to answer any questions. There was a billboard in a corner which linked to Torley's tutorial videos, some of which are outdated and often discuss topics that newbies don't care about. They don't care about sculpties or script efficiency. They want to know where to go to buy things, to meet people, and how to fucking move.

Read that last sentence again. It is true. I was asked how to move about by at least five different newbies. That is a damning indictment of the Linden's failure to bring people into Second Life. How can they enjoy the platform and its community when they can't figure out how to get their avatar to go where they want it?

Here is a list of the questions asked:

• "Why do I look like a ghost?"


• "I can't get Edit Appearance to work right"


• "I'm not sure how to use Second Life?"


• "How do move about?"


• "You can fly? How can you fly?"


• "Do you have to pay for different clothes?"


• "Where do I go for new clothes/vehicles/housing?"

All those and some variations thereof were asked in about a twenty minute span. It should not be left up to the tender mercies of older residents to inform the new generation how to fly, or how to use Search, or even confirm that you can change your avatar look. This is not my job. This is the job of the Lindens and they're failing horribly.

The question is, what can be done?

First, get either Lindens or Residents or both to patrol these places and be on hand to answer any and all questions. There should be at least two at each location around the clock. These people, by the way, should be screened and it should be made sure they aren't arrogant shits who'll sneer if someone asks how to fly or attach hair. There should be no worry that the person in this role isn't very software inclined, because it's rare that a newbie asks a question which would baffle the average SL resident. It doesn't take an engineer to tell someone that to attach something, you go into inventory, right click, and select 'wear'. It doesn't take a programmer to tell someone how to search for a night club.

Second, they need to hold a meeting and standardize the newbie experience. Here's a suggestion: after about a month, send a notecard to the newbies and ask them their thoughts on how well the OI prepared them for SL. Don't give any multiple choice bullshit, just ask: "What are your thoughts on orientation? Did we neglect any information? etc etc etc" Multiple choice tends to not tell you anything. 7 out of 10? Why? And these should be collected, and read at the end of the month, and OI should be adjusted accordingly. Don't hand me bullshit that it would take too long. I've worked projects where I've been evaluated by at least 90 or so people, and I was able to handle it and get everything together in about a day. I'm sure a company can do better.

Third, make notecards containing information easily accessible in the infohubs. Isabell and I think Ross do an ok job at that, but most of the others are dismal. It turns the infohubs into glorified town squares where people congregate and chat. There is nothing wrong with that, but the primary purpose of the infohub is to inform. Information should be distributed if asked. And I'd do it in notecards, and not in links to outside websites. Tell people how to do it NOW, not later on someone's website.

Fourth, please police the infohubs a little. Clean up the loiterers. Infohubs, as I said above, have become similar to town squares, where people mill about and chat. Again, nothing wrong with that, but emphasis should be placed on informing new residents of what's what. When you have a newbie asking how to fly, and the crowd is mocking them, you need to call in the police and break it up.

Please, Linden Lab. Fix this shit. You have no idea how many people come into Second Life and abandon it after two or three days because they get no help and have no idea what to do. You cannot tell me you enjoy losing potential paying customers. Why do you let this continue? And the same is said to third party OI. Clean it up, please.

Happy Endings

I find it funny that most movies end with everyone pairing up like the nuclear apocalypse has rained down upon us and they need to repopulate the planet.

It may seem strange and bizarre, but two people can work together and not hook up. It happens quite often. Half of my class of sixty or seventy people are single, after being in the same classes for the past five years. And most of the rest are with people they happened across one day.

I came to this revelation while watching 'Toy Story 2' on Disney the other day. Woody the cowboy had Bo Peep. And suddenly, Buzz had the Jessie the cowgirl, and Mr. Potato Head got the Miss Potato Head. Looking at the third in the series, we get the irritating pairing of a Barbie doll (a character which had little if any exposure in the previous movies outside of cameos) and Ken. I say irritating because almost all commercials focus on this, as if 'love at first sight' is completely new to writing.

It would be refreshing to see one movie where the leading actor and actress do not fall in love. Doubly so for movies where the two only just meet for a few days and share maybe three pages worth of dialogue.

Men in Skirts

Some newspaper recently decided that the best way to lampoon the Philadelphia Flyers (who are off at the moment chasing the hockey championship) was to [poorly] photoshop one of the players in a skirt. With the caption, "Looks like Tarzan, plays like Jane."

The initial reaction will probably be, "oh, but who cares about that ol' rag?" Well, that 'rag' just happens to be the Chicago Tribune, which just so happens to be eighth largest newspaper circulation in the United States. And this article managed to slip between the collective cracks of quite a few editors. The writers, the editors, and god knows who others looked at this article, and gave it the seal of approval.

Are we really in an age where it's still considered an insult and a slur to call someone a woman? The worst way that this paper could think of to debase the man's athletic ability is that... he plays like a woman? Oooo, scary. 'Plays like Jane' ignores the fact that women do play hockey, and with a good amount of skill.

Their apology reeks of the tired 'it was just a joke, loosen up!' excuse. It's so damn easy to sit from your position of privilege, where your gender, race, and sexuality isn't used as a general epithet for weakness or deviance or what have you, and say unto others that it's just a joke. You don't have to live with it and deal with it every day of your life.

I could go on and on, but I won't. I know most of my readers are not low watt bulbs, no, you guys are like those fancy new ones which are 50% brighter while using 30% less power. But that here, 2010, the staff of a large newspaper saw no inherent problem with using sex as a means to insult someone, and then apologised half-assed, shocks me.

Almost as bad as the completely stupid coverage of what Elena Kagan was wearing and whether she crossed her legs or not.

The Ol' South

Is it so wrong to love the Old South?

Uh... lemme think.

YES.

Do you know what the Confederates were? Do you know who instigated the entire revolt? I know the word they use for such people: traitors. Yes, they were traitors. When you try to rend the country in two and actively attack it (and yes, you idiots fired first at Fort Sumter), you are a traitor.

Do you feel pride in that?

Leaving the World

I think if I leave Second Life, it will be with a whimper, rather than a bang. I don't think I really have much choice in the matter. I'm not a particularly famous person. I just sit here in my little corner of Blogger, playing in my box more or less to myself.

Eventually, the only thing left of me, the only evidence of my presence in Second Life, would be a profile inworld and this blog. Pretty scary! Even that would last only as long as Second Life and Blogger survives. If either decides to purge their systems of 'that missing person', then poof! No more Anna anywhere on the internet.

I mention this because I haven't been in Second Life since January (maybe even longer) and the updates here have become sporadic to the point of three posts a month. I read blogs and I scratch my head about what the hell people are talking about. New Viewers have cropped up everywhere, and I can't say I've tried a single one (maybe Emerald?).

I can't even keep track of the Lindens anymore. Almost all the Lindens I grew up with have left, leaving us with... new people. M Linden, and a bunch of other 'Letter Box' Lindens. 'Building Block' Lindens? And of course, new names I don't know.

Everything's changed. I feel like going back inworld is going to be a chore.

To think! After three years of Second Life citizenship, that I would find myself now coming online with as much knowledge as a common noob!

Auto-Page?

Blogger's doing some kind of auto-paging thing which many people are claiming eats their posts and disappears them into the ether.

Since I'm lazy, if you find anything missing which you most desparately need to read RIGHT NOW, do not hesitate to leave a comment or send an email. It's not like I'm doing anything else at the moment.

Update: Sigh, and that html glitch is back. If I add a link using Blogger's software, it appends 'www.blogger.com' to the beginning of the address and destroys the link.

Flow Chart

I was going to make one for normal people, but it involved too many feedback loops and the picture got messy. Therefore, you'll just have to be satisfied with this graphic I made in class, where I show you the general thought process behind those in Second Life who live and love to shrill.