Monday, July 23, 2007

The War on Shoes

Today is going to be full of Second Life jargon, to warn those few who may be reading and not active players in Second Life. The only advice I can give is to not read this post as is, but to mentally listen to it, as a story.

I have declared a Holy War upon shoes. Yes, before you ask, there is a very good and not insane reason.

There have been lots and lots of griefers, pouring into Second Life and treating it in ways that would make Atilla the Hun blush. It is a sad and terrible thing. Many have closed up shop for greener pastures, where one will not be bombarded with a hail of freenises. One of the four horsemen before the SLocalypse.

However! I have noticed a correlation, one that may solve all of our problems! It is a most brillant observation!

For you see, if you notice, most Griefers wear shoes. Any kind of footwear.

I have no idea why they wear footwear when griefing. Maybe it gives them traction when they launch sim crashing nukes. Or maybe it adds style to griefing. Whatever the reason, they wear shoes. All of them. Wear shoes.

Most people in SL wear shoes, I will submit. But not all. Some go barefoot, since in a virtual world you can't get blisters unless you're RPing.

So, the course of action is clear to me.

Eliminate all shoes. Then we will have eliminated all griefers. Griefers always wear shoes, and innocents do not always wear shoes, therefore if we destroy all footwear we will destroy all griefers who will be unable to grief without shoes.

I estimate that this plan would lead to a glorious grief-free Second Life if followed properly.

It's not as if my logical conclusion are faulty, after all.

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