It is frightening to me how fast and careless Linden Lab can strike. It is not hyperbole to say things can move and shake within the course of minutes.
They may tell you they spend months, years even, in advance planning their moves and policies, but to be dreadfully honest one can't really tell that from the outside looking in. To most, myself included, it's not unlike riding a roller coaster in the dead of night. You can only pray that the tiny sensations of gravity and centripedal forces and the sound of the wind can alert you to the loops and dips that are surely coming. The problem is that you can't always be certain you're interpreting it correctly. You could be falling prey to delusion or miss sleights of hand. The tea leaves ain't going to tell you nothing concerning the Lindens.
Normally, if the Lindens were any other resident or friend, it would be at most worrisome. If they were even the slightest bit transparent or restarted town halls, this would be a non-issue. But they are not residents, they're our Overlords. And they are not transparent, they erect lots of smoke and mirrors on any given controversial issue imaginable. I understand that such issues will never be discussed openly by the company or its employees for obvious reasons. That shouldn't dissuade them from at least alerting us to what they are potentially investigating. At least grant us the tiniest of tiny head's up on these things.
I'm not talking about new features. I'm talking about their social policies, the ones stating "no more gambling" and "no more ageplay". Both were practically introduced overnight, with little if any discussion upon the topic at all. Sure, there were grumblings of potential investigations by the US or Germany, but we really didn't hear from the Lab that anything was being considered, in fact I am dead certain the Gambling ban was instituted overnight and the explanation (Heavy US online gambling regulations) was almost an afterthought, added when the casinos were in an uproar.
And really, that is the crux of this matter. They don't seem to realize that their every word and non-word can quite rapidly change the world within hours. Because they are never entirely forthright concerning future policies, people have their own "Linden" antenna of sorts, finely tuned to the slightest changes in the signal from Linden Lab. Thus, even when they don't comment on a subject, people interpret that as possibly having some bearing. "Why aren't they commenting on this subject? They must be reviewing it!"
Now, here comes the major problem: what if people drastically alter the world in response to a perceived indication of action from the Lindens? Let's say someone asks Philip if they're considering sponsoring an official Linden band. Philip laughs it off, but does not definitively state anything on the matter. Inworld bands and musicians could take up arms, especially if they believe the Linden band would host concerts for free. Others would leave, cashing out since there is no way they could compete with a non profit, Linden sponsored concert. Many would reason that in such a world, only the very best of the best musicians could survive against such a thing. A few days later, I could reasonably see a dip in the economy as the bands pull out their dollars.
Another scenario: Some nutball suggests that the Lindens institute ghettos for the non-paying residents, who would not be allowed to leave their designated areas. The Lindens chose to ignore it. Residents, having seen that they neither commented nor disapproved of this idea, would come to the conclusion that either this particular idea is in the works, is being seriously considered, or that it will be a non-issue because of other immediate changes in the pipes. And people would act on these instincts. People would either register or quit. The population of recurring Unverified would most likely plummet. One can't rule out the hypothesis that the number could also sky rocket as people create Unverified alts in protest.
I believe this illustrates the Lindens' greatest fault, and causes needless hassle and induced ulcers. People take hedonistic outlooks in SL because you can't be sure if tomorrow will break the world, your inworld business, or drive off your inworld friends; better to live it up today while we can than to regret it later when it could be wiped off the face of the earth by a careless Linden remark.
They need to realize that they aren't just residents (I suspect at least some do, and create alts so residents won't run with their every word), they're our Overlords. If they're going to act as they are, then they can't react with surprise when residents overreact or revolt (as they did way way back with the silly prim taxes, or with the telehubs and their malls, or copybot, or with ageplay/gambling recently, and what will likely happen with age verification).
The Ls need to realize they can't be our friends. They can't be casual about themselves.
They're our overlords. They should start acting the part.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Sunday, August 12, 2007
The Bible of Nunchuck, Part the First
This is the Bible of Nunchuck from its first book, the Book of Anna:
In the Beginning, there was Philip Linden. A deity from the far off land of San Fransissko in a greater universe than ours, he entered a void where time was unknown and silence held lease.
And he raised his hands, and from the void came forth the lands and the seas. And he blew his breath across the scape, and trees and plants bloomed in its wake. And he looked upon his works, and he called it Second Life, in memory of the universe he had left. He desired for others to enjoy his good works, and so he reached into the very fabric of the mesh that forms all things in Second Life, and molded it into his own image, and thus the avatar was born.
Philip loved his avatar so much, he created more for company, and soon the land was awash in avatars, forming villages across the land. They began building halls and towers, and bridges and roads. Philip soon found it exhausting to follow his children, and so he once again reached into the fabric of the world and created the Lindens, to follow and watch over his children, and to aid them in creating a pure and beautiful world. And heeding his instruction, the Lindens flew across the vastness.
And Philip surveyed his creations, his lands, his avatars, his Lindens, and the perfect balance of order and harmony he had created, and rested in his multi-coloured pants, and said it was Good. And it was, for 400 SL years all was well.
Some looked upon this beauty, and despised it. They were called the Outcasts, The Unblessed, The Undesireds. They were born from those the Lindens had deemed unfit, useless, or harmful to the villages and communities, and they were banished to the far corners of Second Life, far from Philip's benevolence and His Golden Age of Prosperity. They were forced to eke a living from the barren earth of their wastes, forever sentenced to looking at a paradise just beyond their reach. And their children grew with this hatred, and their children's children also, for many a generation.
And so it was that one day, they drew into the evil arts of that age, the forbidden arts that encroached on the very powers of Philip, and they reached deep and far into the mesh of the world to create their own god. On that day, the skies grew dark and the moon vanished, the air grew hot and humid, and the birds and animals fell silent, and the Lindens themselves were astir with the sense that something terrible and great was to occur.
And thus, Nunchuck was born, with all His Unholy powers, having been created from the very fabric of the world Philip made, and with all the powers that entailed. And the Outcasts cheered, for their had created their Saviour.
Nunchuck observed his lands, and raised for His people mighty fortress and arcologies, and fertile lands for building. He shook His mightly femur, embued with the wrath and suffering of thousands of Outcasts, and obliterated the barriers between Philip's Chosen and Nunchuck's People. He began to systematically slaughter those who had oppressed His people, and not even the Lindens could tame his wrath.
Philip knew that Nunchuck's Great Power was unholy, and a match even for his. So he sneezed upon his Lindens, and they were granted extraordinary powers with which to battle the Great Evil that is Nunchuck. They scarred the land with their battles and skirmishes, and the avatars of both cried out for an end and for a peace but Philip and Nunchuck were deaf to their pleas. And Nunchuck, having witnessed the greatness of the Lindens, reached into the fiber of His People's being and contorted their souls into shadows of the Lindens themselves, and Nunchuck called His creations His grievers. They swarmed across Second Life bringing havoc and misery to all in their path.
And for many a month, the Grievers and the Lindens did battle, night and day. And as they waged, millions perished as they destroyed countless habitations and common areas. Neither was willing to yield to the other, and many met their fates upon the wastes created by their rages. And there was much sadness and ugliness.
And one moon, under which Nunchuck was resting his mightly forces, a humble Outcast, badly scarred from the past year of eternal war between these Gods, came before Nunchuck in a show of daring and pretensiousness. This nobody was named U, and he pleaded to Nunchuck to spare His people, for they had had enough of war and wanted to make peace with Philip and his People, so that both may piece together their shattered world. U asked only for others, since his own family had been slaughtered mercilessly at the hands of a Griever berserk with the rush of having killed a Linden. U asked his wish solely for Nunchuck's and Philip's People, that they may have happiness that he now will never know.
Nunchuck, at first enraged by this affront to His Godness, saw the truth of U's words. He saw His people needed peace, and the Lindens would not stop.
And so Nunchuck went and engaged Philip in battle. Fighting past three Guard Lindens, He blasted down the doors of the Mighty Philip Linden Temple, and challenged Philip to one final duel, the winner of which would become the most high and mighty of gods, and forever cement his rule as Overlord of the Underheavens.
And so Philip and Nunchuck clashed, and their battle beheld more terrible woes upon the people than ever before. Every parry tore the fibre of the world, every blow wiped whole sims off the face of the universe. In places they disrupted time and caused destruction on a level untold of. They did this for three days and nights, and on the third night both retired to rest, and they beheld the results of their rage. And their hearts did melt before the sufferings of their people and the sins of doings.
And so Philip proposed a truce: That they both work together, to enhance the happiness of their people, and acknowledge the sins they had both wrought upon the land. He offered a desire to work together to create a better world.
Nunchuck considered this, and asked that Philip give him four days to come to decision, after which He would accept or offer additions to this idea. Philip, being good and assuming good faith, accepted Nunchuck's wish.
And as Philip turned to walk back to his people and Lindens, Nunchuck drew his mightly femur and stabbed him straight through Philip's head. And Philip fell, and his body became immersed into the land he loved so. Thus, Nunchuck finally won this great and terrible war.
And we shall rest our eyes here, and let what followed this great tragedy for another story.
In the Beginning, there was Philip Linden. A deity from the far off land of San Fransissko in a greater universe than ours, he entered a void where time was unknown and silence held lease.
And he raised his hands, and from the void came forth the lands and the seas. And he blew his breath across the scape, and trees and plants bloomed in its wake. And he looked upon his works, and he called it Second Life, in memory of the universe he had left. He desired for others to enjoy his good works, and so he reached into the very fabric of the mesh that forms all things in Second Life, and molded it into his own image, and thus the avatar was born.
Philip loved his avatar so much, he created more for company, and soon the land was awash in avatars, forming villages across the land. They began building halls and towers, and bridges and roads. Philip soon found it exhausting to follow his children, and so he once again reached into the fabric of the world and created the Lindens, to follow and watch over his children, and to aid them in creating a pure and beautiful world. And heeding his instruction, the Lindens flew across the vastness.
And Philip surveyed his creations, his lands, his avatars, his Lindens, and the perfect balance of order and harmony he had created, and rested in his multi-coloured pants, and said it was Good. And it was, for 400 SL years all was well.
Some looked upon this beauty, and despised it. They were called the Outcasts, The Unblessed, The Undesireds. They were born from those the Lindens had deemed unfit, useless, or harmful to the villages and communities, and they were banished to the far corners of Second Life, far from Philip's benevolence and His Golden Age of Prosperity. They were forced to eke a living from the barren earth of their wastes, forever sentenced to looking at a paradise just beyond their reach. And their children grew with this hatred, and their children's children also, for many a generation.
And so it was that one day, they drew into the evil arts of that age, the forbidden arts that encroached on the very powers of Philip, and they reached deep and far into the mesh of the world to create their own god. On that day, the skies grew dark and the moon vanished, the air grew hot and humid, and the birds and animals fell silent, and the Lindens themselves were astir with the sense that something terrible and great was to occur.
And thus, Nunchuck was born, with all His Unholy powers, having been created from the very fabric of the world Philip made, and with all the powers that entailed. And the Outcasts cheered, for their had created their Saviour.
Nunchuck observed his lands, and raised for His people mighty fortress and arcologies, and fertile lands for building. He shook His mightly femur, embued with the wrath and suffering of thousands of Outcasts, and obliterated the barriers between Philip's Chosen and Nunchuck's People. He began to systematically slaughter those who had oppressed His people, and not even the Lindens could tame his wrath.
Philip knew that Nunchuck's Great Power was unholy, and a match even for his. So he sneezed upon his Lindens, and they were granted extraordinary powers with which to battle the Great Evil that is Nunchuck. They scarred the land with their battles and skirmishes, and the avatars of both cried out for an end and for a peace but Philip and Nunchuck were deaf to their pleas. And Nunchuck, having witnessed the greatness of the Lindens, reached into the fiber of His People's being and contorted their souls into shadows of the Lindens themselves, and Nunchuck called His creations His grievers. They swarmed across Second Life bringing havoc and misery to all in their path.
And for many a month, the Grievers and the Lindens did battle, night and day. And as they waged, millions perished as they destroyed countless habitations and common areas. Neither was willing to yield to the other, and many met their fates upon the wastes created by their rages. And there was much sadness and ugliness.
And one moon, under which Nunchuck was resting his mightly forces, a humble Outcast, badly scarred from the past year of eternal war between these Gods, came before Nunchuck in a show of daring and pretensiousness. This nobody was named U, and he pleaded to Nunchuck to spare His people, for they had had enough of war and wanted to make peace with Philip and his People, so that both may piece together their shattered world. U asked only for others, since his own family had been slaughtered mercilessly at the hands of a Griever berserk with the rush of having killed a Linden. U asked his wish solely for Nunchuck's and Philip's People, that they may have happiness that he now will never know.
Nunchuck, at first enraged by this affront to His Godness, saw the truth of U's words. He saw His people needed peace, and the Lindens would not stop.
And so Nunchuck went and engaged Philip in battle. Fighting past three Guard Lindens, He blasted down the doors of the Mighty Philip Linden Temple, and challenged Philip to one final duel, the winner of which would become the most high and mighty of gods, and forever cement his rule as Overlord of the Underheavens.
And so Philip and Nunchuck clashed, and their battle beheld more terrible woes upon the people than ever before. Every parry tore the fibre of the world, every blow wiped whole sims off the face of the universe. In places they disrupted time and caused destruction on a level untold of. They did this for three days and nights, and on the third night both retired to rest, and they beheld the results of their rage. And their hearts did melt before the sufferings of their people and the sins of doings.
And so Philip proposed a truce: That they both work together, to enhance the happiness of their people, and acknowledge the sins they had both wrought upon the land. He offered a desire to work together to create a better world.
Nunchuck considered this, and asked that Philip give him four days to come to decision, after which He would accept or offer additions to this idea. Philip, being good and assuming good faith, accepted Nunchuck's wish.
And as Philip turned to walk back to his people and Lindens, Nunchuck drew his mightly femur and stabbed him straight through Philip's head. And Philip fell, and his body became immersed into the land he loved so. Thus, Nunchuck finally won this great and terrible war.
And we shall rest our eyes here, and let what followed this great tragedy for another story.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Which Of Us Is Not A Stranger And Alone?
What can be worse than death? For me, being forgotten certainly can be.
With death, you die and that's it. Highly likely it will be painful and unpleasant, but when it's done it's done, and either you just cease to exist or you head on up to the thereafter. Or the down under, depending on your personal beliefs and Gods. And that's the end of that. Once you're dead, you don't have to deal with the aftershocks. It's much more painful for the survivors, certainly.
Being forgotten can be like living death. This person who used to know you well enough now doesn't even acknowledge you existed? The truth washes over you like a rainstorm, and you feel frustrated and lonely. It's a death you have to deal with, you essentially died in that other person's mind, you ceased to be.
Yet, you still exist, and you know you exist, and you know that you knew this person. You're sure of it. How could they forget you?! Outrageous! That's the hardest blow. There is a small voice in the backstage saying, "You couldn't have been that important to be forgotten". You can't get rid of it, because if you're forgotten then your former friend cannot tell you if you actually mattered to them or not. But if you did matter and were important, then they'd remember, right?
Being forgotten reverses roles in death. Others aren't pained by the death of you in their minds, they don't even know you existed. But you feel it, it's heartbreaking to you. For them, once they've put you out of mind, that's it, it's done and there is nothing else to it. You spend the rest of your days wallowing in the knowledge that someone who used to be close is now a stranger, and while they carry it, you really can't because you DO remember, and that just burns a nice little hole into your mind.
The larger the amount of people, the worse it gets. With one, you can shrug it off. "Eh, just one loser. Probably wasn't that great a friend anyway", you'll reason. But two? Three? A dozen? Four score? Eventually, the little holes add up. It'll tear you apart, and what's left will be a shell of yourself. Nothing more than a shadow of a person no one cares about, remembers, or even acknowledges. A shadow in a world of shadows.
Or you can seal yourself off. People can't forget what they never knew, right? All you need is you, and with that you'll figure nothing else matters. It won't hurt when people don't recall seeing you, because you've already planned ahead that they won't recall in the first place and that they'll never see you again to burn a hole in your soul again. You become a shadow by choice, a wanderer that comes and goes, and rarely if ever meets the same person twice. You're free in all respects. No one is tying you down. No one is there to hurt you, or prevent you from doing what you want when you want.
Except that not really living, is it? There is no challenge. No one to object to you, provide constructive criticism, provide light on different subjects. On the other side of the token, there's no sense of being needed and appreciated, of being loved, no one to share anything with, no one to help you grow and develop and shed light on areas you never knew you excelled in. Being a lonely wanderer, you're just a battery, charged with potential that will never be tapped, and you'll last a long long time but never unleash that potential. Being together is like being plugged into flashlight, where you work together to create something with entirely different parts, but you burn out far far faster than the lone battery. And in either case, you'll eventually explode alkaline everywhere. So which is better?
Which is better? Being cut into a statue, destined to become a masterpiece but erode far faster than normal, or being hidden under the crust for eons, never venturing beyond your quarry, never forming anything? They both erode eventually. Will the statue remain at the forefront? It might fall out of favour, either due to style or the sheer number of artworks out there, then be filed away in some museum's basement and notable only in the footnotes of a textbook. The plain stone obviously lasts much longer, but it's faceless, never notable or remembered, and when it's gone it's only a footnote inasmuch as it provided a surface to stand on, and nothing more if that.
And now we enter the Internet. What constitutes death online? Obviously a notice from relatives that "laggerd66lulz Stravinsky" finally lost out to the tumor in his pancreas that metastasised does, but what about something more subtle? What would you think if I didn't log on for a week with no prior notice of what I'm doing? How about a month? A year? At what point would you give up that someone is 'internet dead'? Do you just forget them instead? Let them fade away, they don't seem to be coming back, and you try to keep up and remember them, but there's so much else for you to do, and time is so short...
Would it be easier on you if I violated some preplanned event? If I said I was going to go on vacation for a week, and then the week passes and I still never log on, that doesn't send a good message. What if I said I was definitely going to meet you at a concert on Saturday, and then never log in? How long would you miss me, before I fade out from center stage? And then what if I came back, and the reason for my absence was simply Real Life serious business? If you've forgotten me by then, would it be virtual murder and rebirth? Would we be a virtual Christ in that regard? How long would it take to jog your memory, and would I ever be really the same as I originally was in your mind? You can't know if you forgot, your baseline for such a comparison is deleted.
Every time you meet someone, you create a new you. People don't really know you, they know the version of you they created in their mind. Thus, there is an Anna in Jurin's mind, an Anna in Silver's mind, an Anna in James' mind, an Anna in Hazel's mind, an Anna in Chaos' mind, an Anna in Madison's mind, an Anna in Scope's mind, an Anna in Philip's mind, an Anna in Nalin's mind, an Anna in Avi's mind, an Anna in Doug's mind, an Anna in Solta's mind, an Anna in Vanya's mind, and many many more. All are me, but they're not me. They are all versions of me as perceived by them. Each is unique and yet they all share a common template. I myself am really half a person, the other half is the me who resides in the minds of others. I'm the sum total of what you think of me plus what I actually am.
Now, if you forget me, is that killing the me residing in your mind? Do I die a little death? There are degrees to oblivion. The farther along you are towards erasing me, the more shattered the me in your mind will be. I suppose then it is not a question of dead or not, but one more along the lines of how corrupted can your Anna get before it's irreparable. How far can you strain it, can you distort it, can you chisel it and shatter it, can you tease and contort it before it's no longer me or no longer anything?
Forgive me for writing this as if I am the victim. I am implying no such thing. I am no saint, I am a human being of course, so the question can be asked of me of how long I can do such things to the friends residing in my mind. How many of those are dead, shattered, twisted, or abandoned? I am sorry to admit that the number is not a small one. Of my friends list, a large percentage are never on and of those remaining few I converse regularly with maybe five or six. I would like to point out that SL is a cycle of sorts, and when I'm on can affect who I am talking to. In addition, those who have become my close friends I have never forgotten. Sure, it's a little in the distance so to speak and a bit foggy, but there's no way I could possibly forget the GreatMoo or Mahala or Chrome. I can distinctly remember each one of them (in fact, I did meet up with Chrome a week ago, but after I had written this post as a draft). When and if ever James logs back in again (as some say he will, and I say the sooner the better considering the turn SL has taken recently. He'd probably fix it in a few weeks) for that one instant I'd never know he hasn't been on in a month.
And really, that's the best part of remembrance. That instant flash you get, when you see and hear the person, and your mind leaps in joy that yes, you do know this person and much fun is about to happen. And for the brief time together, you forget you even forgot! You don't even pay it much heed if at all! It's just the here and the now, and tomorrow is too far away to care about and yesterday is yesterday's news. It's not foggy memories of days yore, it's vivid images and feelings and sensations directly at you now.
But in between, that fogginess? Is that due to the lack of contact, or to the beginning of deletion? Maybe the mind is like a VCR tape. The original recording is crisp and clear and there's no static or fuzz and you feel there. After a few thousand plays, it starts degrading, falling apart, and you can't fix it unless you get a new tape. The longer you delay getting the tape, the more interference you have, until what you're actually watching isn't what it was originally, and you may forget what the original was like or was about. When you get that new tape of the same thing, you feel like you've reset somehow, that this wasn't what you had originally. The degradation becomes the original, and the original is lost. And just as there's many types of people, there's many qualities of tapes, which to be fair the person has no control over. You're born with the tapes you got. And you have to work with them the best you can.
Much of what we do depends upon memory. You memorise what you need to succeed at work and at school, you memorise close friends and relatives, you memorise that you drive on the right, that 58th and Vine is not a nice place at night, that you can't be publicly nude, that robbing a bank is not a bright idea, that you have cereal for breakfast and like a hot cup of tea before dinner. There is no instinct, it's all what you have set to memory. So, is it really that bad if someone forgets? With everything else they have to commit to memory, do they really need to know you? Would you rather they miss a train and be late for lack of memory of the schedule or they take a few minutes to recall their splintered memory of you?
Even pain, though not pleasant or easily forgotten, fades with the rest of your memories. Pained by a good friend not remembering you? Ah, let it be, and it too will fade along with your memory of them. And then they'll both be shadows to you, and you to them, in a perverse equivalent exchange. Mutually Assured Destruction.
I will conclude with one final thought.
If indeed we do store version of people we meet in our minds, that are killed by forgetting them, then every day all around the world trillions die each day in what would be the greatest holocaust yet.
And that's terrible.
With death, you die and that's it. Highly likely it will be painful and unpleasant, but when it's done it's done, and either you just cease to exist or you head on up to the thereafter. Or the down under, depending on your personal beliefs and Gods. And that's the end of that. Once you're dead, you don't have to deal with the aftershocks. It's much more painful for the survivors, certainly.
Being forgotten can be like living death. This person who used to know you well enough now doesn't even acknowledge you existed? The truth washes over you like a rainstorm, and you feel frustrated and lonely. It's a death you have to deal with, you essentially died in that other person's mind, you ceased to be.
Yet, you still exist, and you know you exist, and you know that you knew this person. You're sure of it. How could they forget you?! Outrageous! That's the hardest blow. There is a small voice in the backstage saying, "You couldn't have been that important to be forgotten". You can't get rid of it, because if you're forgotten then your former friend cannot tell you if you actually mattered to them or not. But if you did matter and were important, then they'd remember, right?
Being forgotten reverses roles in death. Others aren't pained by the death of you in their minds, they don't even know you existed. But you feel it, it's heartbreaking to you. For them, once they've put you out of mind, that's it, it's done and there is nothing else to it. You spend the rest of your days wallowing in the knowledge that someone who used to be close is now a stranger, and while they carry it, you really can't because you DO remember, and that just burns a nice little hole into your mind.
The larger the amount of people, the worse it gets. With one, you can shrug it off. "Eh, just one loser. Probably wasn't that great a friend anyway", you'll reason. But two? Three? A dozen? Four score? Eventually, the little holes add up. It'll tear you apart, and what's left will be a shell of yourself. Nothing more than a shadow of a person no one cares about, remembers, or even acknowledges. A shadow in a world of shadows.
Or you can seal yourself off. People can't forget what they never knew, right? All you need is you, and with that you'll figure nothing else matters. It won't hurt when people don't recall seeing you, because you've already planned ahead that they won't recall in the first place and that they'll never see you again to burn a hole in your soul again. You become a shadow by choice, a wanderer that comes and goes, and rarely if ever meets the same person twice. You're free in all respects. No one is tying you down. No one is there to hurt you, or prevent you from doing what you want when you want.
Except that not really living, is it? There is no challenge. No one to object to you, provide constructive criticism, provide light on different subjects. On the other side of the token, there's no sense of being needed and appreciated, of being loved, no one to share anything with, no one to help you grow and develop and shed light on areas you never knew you excelled in. Being a lonely wanderer, you're just a battery, charged with potential that will never be tapped, and you'll last a long long time but never unleash that potential. Being together is like being plugged into flashlight, where you work together to create something with entirely different parts, but you burn out far far faster than the lone battery. And in either case, you'll eventually explode alkaline everywhere. So which is better?
Which is better? Being cut into a statue, destined to become a masterpiece but erode far faster than normal, or being hidden under the crust for eons, never venturing beyond your quarry, never forming anything? They both erode eventually. Will the statue remain at the forefront? It might fall out of favour, either due to style or the sheer number of artworks out there, then be filed away in some museum's basement and notable only in the footnotes of a textbook. The plain stone obviously lasts much longer, but it's faceless, never notable or remembered, and when it's gone it's only a footnote inasmuch as it provided a surface to stand on, and nothing more if that.
And now we enter the Internet. What constitutes death online? Obviously a notice from relatives that "laggerd66lulz Stravinsky" finally lost out to the tumor in his pancreas that metastasised does, but what about something more subtle? What would you think if I didn't log on for a week with no prior notice of what I'm doing? How about a month? A year? At what point would you give up that someone is 'internet dead'? Do you just forget them instead? Let them fade away, they don't seem to be coming back, and you try to keep up and remember them, but there's so much else for you to do, and time is so short...
Would it be easier on you if I violated some preplanned event? If I said I was going to go on vacation for a week, and then the week passes and I still never log on, that doesn't send a good message. What if I said I was definitely going to meet you at a concert on Saturday, and then never log in? How long would you miss me, before I fade out from center stage? And then what if I came back, and the reason for my absence was simply Real Life serious business? If you've forgotten me by then, would it be virtual murder and rebirth? Would we be a virtual Christ in that regard? How long would it take to jog your memory, and would I ever be really the same as I originally was in your mind? You can't know if you forgot, your baseline for such a comparison is deleted.
Every time you meet someone, you create a new you. People don't really know you, they know the version of you they created in their mind. Thus, there is an Anna in Jurin's mind, an Anna in Silver's mind, an Anna in James' mind, an Anna in Hazel's mind, an Anna in Chaos' mind, an Anna in Madison's mind, an Anna in Scope's mind, an Anna in Philip's mind, an Anna in Nalin's mind, an Anna in Avi's mind, an Anna in Doug's mind, an Anna in Solta's mind, an Anna in Vanya's mind, and many many more. All are me, but they're not me. They are all versions of me as perceived by them. Each is unique and yet they all share a common template. I myself am really half a person, the other half is the me who resides in the minds of others. I'm the sum total of what you think of me plus what I actually am.
Now, if you forget me, is that killing the me residing in your mind? Do I die a little death? There are degrees to oblivion. The farther along you are towards erasing me, the more shattered the me in your mind will be. I suppose then it is not a question of dead or not, but one more along the lines of how corrupted can your Anna get before it's irreparable. How far can you strain it, can you distort it, can you chisel it and shatter it, can you tease and contort it before it's no longer me or no longer anything?
Forgive me for writing this as if I am the victim. I am implying no such thing. I am no saint, I am a human being of course, so the question can be asked of me of how long I can do such things to the friends residing in my mind. How many of those are dead, shattered, twisted, or abandoned? I am sorry to admit that the number is not a small one. Of my friends list, a large percentage are never on and of those remaining few I converse regularly with maybe five or six. I would like to point out that SL is a cycle of sorts, and when I'm on can affect who I am talking to. In addition, those who have become my close friends I have never forgotten. Sure, it's a little in the distance so to speak and a bit foggy, but there's no way I could possibly forget the GreatMoo or Mahala or Chrome. I can distinctly remember each one of them (in fact, I did meet up with Chrome a week ago, but after I had written this post as a draft). When and if ever James logs back in again (as some say he will, and I say the sooner the better considering the turn SL has taken recently. He'd probably fix it in a few weeks) for that one instant I'd never know he hasn't been on in a month.
And really, that's the best part of remembrance. That instant flash you get, when you see and hear the person, and your mind leaps in joy that yes, you do know this person and much fun is about to happen. And for the brief time together, you forget you even forgot! You don't even pay it much heed if at all! It's just the here and the now, and tomorrow is too far away to care about and yesterday is yesterday's news. It's not foggy memories of days yore, it's vivid images and feelings and sensations directly at you now.
But in between, that fogginess? Is that due to the lack of contact, or to the beginning of deletion? Maybe the mind is like a VCR tape. The original recording is crisp and clear and there's no static or fuzz and you feel there. After a few thousand plays, it starts degrading, falling apart, and you can't fix it unless you get a new tape. The longer you delay getting the tape, the more interference you have, until what you're actually watching isn't what it was originally, and you may forget what the original was like or was about. When you get that new tape of the same thing, you feel like you've reset somehow, that this wasn't what you had originally. The degradation becomes the original, and the original is lost. And just as there's many types of people, there's many qualities of tapes, which to be fair the person has no control over. You're born with the tapes you got. And you have to work with them the best you can.
Much of what we do depends upon memory. You memorise what you need to succeed at work and at school, you memorise close friends and relatives, you memorise that you drive on the right, that 58th and Vine is not a nice place at night, that you can't be publicly nude, that robbing a bank is not a bright idea, that you have cereal for breakfast and like a hot cup of tea before dinner. There is no instinct, it's all what you have set to memory. So, is it really that bad if someone forgets? With everything else they have to commit to memory, do they really need to know you? Would you rather they miss a train and be late for lack of memory of the schedule or they take a few minutes to recall their splintered memory of you?
Even pain, though not pleasant or easily forgotten, fades with the rest of your memories. Pained by a good friend not remembering you? Ah, let it be, and it too will fade along with your memory of them. And then they'll both be shadows to you, and you to them, in a perverse equivalent exchange. Mutually Assured Destruction.
I will conclude with one final thought.
If indeed we do store version of people we meet in our minds, that are killed by forgetting them, then every day all around the world trillions die each day in what would be the greatest holocaust yet.
And that's terrible.
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Treatise on the State of the SLunion
I met three new friends at Bear today
all typing
it was kinda like old times
Are you sure they just weren't humouring you? Or so new they didn't know about voice?
No they were new but new about and didnt like voice
I wonder why.
one of those news was a knew
In fact, one of them is online, Im gonna invite her over
youll like her
'cept shes not responding ATM
Probably away or busy
Yup, guess so
Or so lagged out that she cannot respond
Which has happened to me on occasion
yeah me too
Anything cool been going on with you?
I was building an engraving. It's coming along a little slow, but it is almost 50% finished
I'm going to plaster it onto somewhere
Thats the kind answer I expected from you! ha ha
It just dawned on me that you can chat via the IM window now
With voice? Yes
Not sure if I like having that window open
the chat is see thru
the window isnt
I haven't upgraded yet, but I do remember the chat window being unnecessarily big and bulky from First Look.
Tere definitely is more stuff than you can have on the screen at one time
That was one of the hard things to get used to
It's going to reach a point where it will be a laggy Myspace page, with an itty bitty window to see something that looks like avatars interacting in someplace. You won't be able to see it clearly, it'll be so small
I hope the hell not
Its too damned gimmicky as it is
You can already publish your profile to the web, among other things.
It probably won't get that bad.
After all, if you can't see your land, you won't buy it, and land and tier are 3/4 of LL's revenue.
Uh huh
The other 1/4 is dreams and lies.
and Fairy dust, dont forget fairy dust
How could we? Torley is always reminding us about it!
Or, as Torley once eloquently put it, "Woozerpazoozer, roflcoptors Loolzoorama! "
Wow it gives me a headache to read that.
And that is the face of Linden Lab
I can honestly say I havent met a Linden who seemed pleased to met me
"Torley, are the Lindens doing anything at all concering the horrendous lag and crashing we go through daily, if not hourly?" Torley:"Wowzers, that sounds :(( sad muy sad. But I'm not a codeing monkey, so youll have to ask Ben or Phil or someone else."
Essentially said to me "Well, we'd care about what you say, but you're new to SL and also not a paying customer so eat your gruel and like it"
I'm waiting for Philip to say something like "Crashing Builds Character"
ha ha
I was on the roof with you that time, when we partyed on top of that Linden's home
Yes
she should have joined the party
lighten up for fucks sake
Funny thing is that she was a liason who is supposed to be, you know, intermingling with the residents
They all waltz thru like they dont care at all
We're all just guinea pigs in a cage to them
Why doesnt one of them hang out at bear for an hour?
They observe as they provide various stimuli
They don't even have to log in to observe us, they can shift through chat logs
are conversations recorded?
Frankly, at this point, if one of them DID hang out at Bear, I'd suspect something was up. Something like "Hay Guys, fun here isn't it? Guess what's cooler, we're shutting down SL tomorrow! Nice meeting yous! LOL"
They do record logs of chat, because they've used it to ban griefers on occasion
Ah
But not IMs?
IMs as well
An expectation of privacy thing?
Illusion of privacy is more like it
If that is true, that upsets me
I can see chat... that takes place out in the open
But IMs are, rather obviously, private messages
But recording IMs in an invasion of privacy
exactly
How do you know they do that?
Because I've had friends on the receiving end of such things
"Don't be silly. I'm IMing my friends who are griefing, the Lindens won't be able to pin it on me LOL"
Do they actually permanently ban people?
Another time a Linden all but implied they watch all the key holes on every door
I mean, Chrome usd an alt to nuke a whole sim 5 times
and the alt got banned for one week
Yes, they have a variety of bans, from simple account blocking to blocking entire IPs or specific hard drives permanently
They up the ante for each offense
Makes me wonder what you have to do to get banned for good
Easy
Crash the entire grid
Knock it out, for more than an hour
Wake up the next day, Suprise! Perma Ban!
unless you move
or buy a new comp
But the Lindens assume you'll be too lazy to do that
This talk is depresing me
I cant type tonight
It's the sad state of our SLworld
State of the Slunion address
Also, your ban depends upon what you crash
Crashing sandboxes, no one cares. Crash a company's island, or Anshe Chung's islands, or anyone with clout, and watch the fireworks fly
Eh, Im tired of all this
I'm just tired.
I'm going to log off.
Im beginning to see trouble coming for LL if things dont improve
Sorry about discussing such a sordid and depressing topic. And trouble is already brewing. The SL economy is slugging down, land prices are down, sign ups are dropping, and always, at the fringe, the griefers wait, with their hideous appetite for destruction.
Ah, this ugly and beautiful world of ours!
You should write horror movie promos
You Could Tell
The guy was new.
You could tell. He took it personal, made it emotional. He was bawling his eyes out, apologizing profusely. He was neglecting his other commitments.
A vet would be cold, emotionless. A vet had seen it all, and learned that these things happen, not to get too attached. And then you move on, like life. And you never apologise. You have done nothing wrong.
The wife and daughter came first, the curtain drawn around them. You couldn't hear them, that was the worst. The loud ones were preferred, the ones that announced their feelings to the whole ward. The quiet ones, they tore you up. For a vet, it was easy with time to distance one's self, but for the quiet ones this was personal. It was almost un natural(SP?) , and either a sign of inner strength or estrangment (SP?).
The mother came. Now she was a wailer. Her screams echoed along the corridors, as she was gently guided by her children. Now this, this was good. This screeching was common, you could block it out, it drowned out all else. No awkward silences. Blissful noise fillng each creavce (SP?).
They held a vigil. They always do that. So pointless, it's just a shell. It won't hear or care, it's beyond that now. But they always do that. They all become quiet and solemnly say meaningless nothings to something that cannot care. Because it was a something, not a someone anymore.
And then they file out, to their homes, and continue the process, of which one is not a part. One just carries on, to the next. Within a week, if that, it's someone else and last week's trials are forgotten.
A vet just lives day to day. Weeks are immeasureably long, who cares what happened a week ago? But this guy, he cared. He remembered. He probably went with the family after shift, consoling them. It was probably his first. Those are never easy, it is a rite of fire for most. But this guy, he was taking it harder than most.
You could tell.
The guy was new.
Hating on Talks
I won't be attending philosophical discussions anymore. It isn't worth the time or stress for debates in subjects that are inherently subjective. If I do attend any kind of discussion in the future, it will be on topics relevant to RL or SL issues.
I came to this conclusion a few nights ago, at an event where one was to talk about 'Good and Evil'. The first warning flag rose when I received a note card outlining specific points on this topic. A topic like this should be a free flowing beast, and to shove an outline like this upon participants is akin to chaining down a bicycle you bought for your children. It stifles any freedom of thought that is necessary for this. Not to mention the note card was already biased, with the host's 'answers' to each point in the discussion. Hello Group think. Care to guess how many disagreed with the host? How many raised any points outside of this initial note card?
The second warning flag came when they attempted to define what good and evil are. Their concept of a 'gray area' was awfully naive and consisted of rather simplistic thought experiments such as 'If I rez a house that my neighbor finds ugly, do I take it down?' or 'If I am busy, is it rude to those trying to IM me?'. I'm no advocate for moral equivalence, but one has to concede that nothing is on a concrete good/evil scale, and that the 'gray area' is large and largely dependent upon point of view and social values and mores. Sure, some things can easily be seen as set at one definite end of the spectrum, but I'd hazard that 80% of the rest is mostly subjective.
Take Prokofy Neva and this Ginko Financial issue for an example. He considers it high treason to SL that Benjamin Noble sees Ginko Financial as a giant Ponzi scheme. Prokofy wants to support native SL institutions, and doesn't approve of outsiders coming in and applying RL views and laws to what is clearly a whole new world, and feels that such actions will destroy what we have. He also perceives that Ben is something of a stalker, set on pushing his lawyer-y views.
Ben considers Prokofy highly uninformed, and almost criminal in that Prokofy is advocating what amounts to a criminal con scheme. He wishes to apply RL laws and associations into SL as a means to bring stability onto the grid. He sees Prokofy as a blowhard of sorts, someone lacking in the proper education and wisdom to see as he sees. He also views Prokofy as someone who will lead people to ruin by advocating practices and businesses which are doomed to failure.
There we have two opinions clashing with the other, a battle of titans. Is either right? Both raise extremely good and well thought out points. Which one is evil? Both would have you believe it is the other. This is just one example, I can provide countless others where this discussion's definition of good/evil is hopelessly flawed and lacking.
Other discussions have cheesed me off to degrees. One on the acceptance of entering SL (what?), another on whether avatar appearance affects one's trust of them. The latter really steamed me, as I can hardly imagine appearance matters at all in trusting someone in SL, it really boils down to behavioural patterns and previous experiences with someone. Most people can size a person up within the ten to twenty minutes they introduce themselves to each other and chat up a bit. Appearance appears to matter little from my observations of how people interact, it's assumed by most that they WILL encounter strange and unique forms, starting with the fox/human one can choose as a starting avatar on the sign-up page. Scope nailed it laconically with one sentence: "I have many friends of all sorts that I'm friends with, how they looked didn't seem to matter" (something along those lines, I didn't save the exact quote). God bless him, he destroyed their argument with a single sentence. Their reaction? Carrying on as if nothing happened, and the accounts of multiple avatars (me, Scope, and a few others) are but grains of rice against the wind of consensus that APPEARANCE MUST HAVE AN IMPACT!
Thus, to save myself from further anxiety, I will adhere to the following rules concerning such discussions:
1) I'm not attending any more philosophical discussion. Period. Regardless of whatever you think, I find them pointless and usually boring, rarely discussing anything relevant to anybody, and covering topics I could find in high school textbooks on the subject. I harbor no interest in this.
Amendment to Rule 1) If you invite me to such an event, I will attend, but do not expect me to participate. I'll observe, keep company, and give my opinion if you press me on it, but that's about it. I don't feel I will have anything to add to these kinds of discussions.
2) Discussions I will attend will be ones on more relevant issues in SL, concerning say griefers or the shaping of the SL world. Topics that can be grounded in something useful, and not 'pie in the sky on Cloud Cuckoo Land Nine' discussions on "Can your avatar feel pain and love?".
3) If I find the discussion to approach revolting or absurdity, I will politely excuse myself. I don't gain entertainment in watching either a side show, especially one posing as a 'discussion of serious business'.
I believe these three rules will ease my aggravation in these types of events considerably. Of course, we can't forget the all important fourth rule:
4) The above rules are subject to being ignored most of the time at the discretion of the rule maker.
I came to this conclusion a few nights ago, at an event where one was to talk about 'Good and Evil'. The first warning flag rose when I received a note card outlining specific points on this topic. A topic like this should be a free flowing beast, and to shove an outline like this upon participants is akin to chaining down a bicycle you bought for your children. It stifles any freedom of thought that is necessary for this. Not to mention the note card was already biased, with the host's 'answers' to each point in the discussion. Hello Group think. Care to guess how many disagreed with the host? How many raised any points outside of this initial note card?
The second warning flag came when they attempted to define what good and evil are. Their concept of a 'gray area' was awfully naive and consisted of rather simplistic thought experiments such as 'If I rez a house that my neighbor finds ugly, do I take it down?' or 'If I am busy, is it rude to those trying to IM me?'. I'm no advocate for moral equivalence, but one has to concede that nothing is on a concrete good/evil scale, and that the 'gray area' is large and largely dependent upon point of view and social values and mores. Sure, some things can easily be seen as set at one definite end of the spectrum, but I'd hazard that 80% of the rest is mostly subjective.
Take Prokofy Neva and this Ginko Financial issue for an example. He considers it high treason to SL that Benjamin Noble sees Ginko Financial as a giant Ponzi scheme. Prokofy wants to support native SL institutions, and doesn't approve of outsiders coming in and applying RL views and laws to what is clearly a whole new world, and feels that such actions will destroy what we have. He also perceives that Ben is something of a stalker, set on pushing his lawyer-y views.
Ben considers Prokofy highly uninformed, and almost criminal in that Prokofy is advocating what amounts to a criminal con scheme. He wishes to apply RL laws and associations into SL as a means to bring stability onto the grid. He sees Prokofy as a blowhard of sorts, someone lacking in the proper education and wisdom to see as he sees. He also views Prokofy as someone who will lead people to ruin by advocating practices and businesses which are doomed to failure.
There we have two opinions clashing with the other, a battle of titans. Is either right? Both raise extremely good and well thought out points. Which one is evil? Both would have you believe it is the other. This is just one example, I can provide countless others where this discussion's definition of good/evil is hopelessly flawed and lacking.
Other discussions have cheesed me off to degrees. One on the acceptance of entering SL (what?), another on whether avatar appearance affects one's trust of them. The latter really steamed me, as I can hardly imagine appearance matters at all in trusting someone in SL, it really boils down to behavioural patterns and previous experiences with someone. Most people can size a person up within the ten to twenty minutes they introduce themselves to each other and chat up a bit. Appearance appears to matter little from my observations of how people interact, it's assumed by most that they WILL encounter strange and unique forms, starting with the fox/human one can choose as a starting avatar on the sign-up page. Scope nailed it laconically with one sentence: "I have many friends of all sorts that I'm friends with, how they looked didn't seem to matter" (something along those lines, I didn't save the exact quote). God bless him, he destroyed their argument with a single sentence. Their reaction? Carrying on as if nothing happened, and the accounts of multiple avatars (me, Scope, and a few others) are but grains of rice against the wind of consensus that APPEARANCE MUST HAVE AN IMPACT!
Thus, to save myself from further anxiety, I will adhere to the following rules concerning such discussions:
1) I'm not attending any more philosophical discussion. Period. Regardless of whatever you think, I find them pointless and usually boring, rarely discussing anything relevant to anybody, and covering topics I could find in high school textbooks on the subject. I harbor no interest in this.
Amendment to Rule 1) If you invite me to such an event, I will attend, but do not expect me to participate. I'll observe, keep company, and give my opinion if you press me on it, but that's about it. I don't feel I will have anything to add to these kinds of discussions.
2) Discussions I will attend will be ones on more relevant issues in SL, concerning say griefers or the shaping of the SL world. Topics that can be grounded in something useful, and not 'pie in the sky on Cloud Cuckoo Land Nine' discussions on "Can your avatar feel pain and love?".
3) If I find the discussion to approach revolting or absurdity, I will politely excuse myself. I don't gain entertainment in watching either a side show, especially one posing as a 'discussion of serious business'.
I believe these three rules will ease my aggravation in these types of events considerably. Of course, we can't forget the all important fourth rule:
4) The above rules are subject to being ignored most of the time at the discretion of the rule maker.
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