Monday, June 16, 2008

Dimitrio's Photostream

Once again, because I'm lazy I'm going to examine someone's photo stream. This week I bring you Dimitrio Lewis, who is a quiet and reserved fox armed with a camera and a neon green scarf and top hat. He probably does a multitude of things but hell if I can remember. Let's just settle that he's a great guy.

Thanks for the nightmare fuel. Honestly, after I saw this, I went to sleep and had a dream. And in this dream, this ... thing? ... came to me and questioned my entire life. This took all of four minutes. After that, I turned to 'The Dark Integral' here and said "Is that it? My entire life spans only four minutes?" Dark Integral nodded solemnly. Then I realized I had spent about a year and a half of my life playing Second Life which took up about 15 seconds of my life narrative and I started screaming and running through a giant can of Pepsi. After I woke up, I went to the fridge and got a can of Pepsi, but when I went to pop the top, Dark Integral's face appeared on the top of the can and said, "YOU CANNOT ESCAPE ME."

The shame is that Dark Integral isn't a bad person. It's just that people get scared to death that he/she/it is going to eat your soul.

The face looks like it was lifted from Egyptian hieroglyphs.

According to Dimi, an office hour was held inside of this.

I see the Borg are going for a more organic look. Too bad the tree is dead there, but I give them bonus points for trying.

Also, is it just me, or does Second Life stink at creating the illusion that an island really is an island? Take a glance at the land mass below the Cube. Island water and Void Ocean water contrast so much that it's jarring. No matter how deep you make your island's surrounding water, the linden ocean void around you will remind that you're just a speck on some server. It's a real killer on those 'tropical islands'. You try to enjoy a sunset and you have to watch this giant line across your view in the water. Windlight solves this by having light reflect off the water and blind you but the peripheral view still has that sim seam visible. Oh well.

Neon Neko. It looks like she lept out of a video game.

Once, long ago, in the middle of Linden village, there arose a temple of grand splendor that many in the lands traveled to in order to give worship to their Linden overlords. However, the mightly God of the Underheavens Nunchuck grew angry one day that his favourite television show was canceled and so in a fit of Godly rage he took the Femur and blasted the nearest object in view which just so happened to be this marvelous temple. As the fires of hell enveloped it, the people and Lindens wailed and gnashed their teeth as the land collapsed and the seas roared and raged and poured into the gigantic ornate halls and rooms, swirling around the altars in an embrace of death and watery graves. Over time, that it was a temple was forgotten and its roof, sunken into the land itself, was used as foundation for this office. The only remnants of its former glory lie in the four minarets which formerly bracketed the massive domed golden roof of the temple.

This phoenix is looking quizzically at Dimi as he took this snapshot, as if to say, "Of all the things around, you're taking a photograph of me?"

Yes, giant golden firebird of lore, we are taking a photo of you. Also, could you lite this cigarette for me? I left my lighter at home.

Look, it's an idiot! This green lantern wanna be isn't even doing his job. If you can read the board behind him, it shows the details of the meeting, which is 'ask me questions or suggestions about Knowledge Base'. In other words, "I got nothing for you guys because I spent all day playing Grand Theft Auto 4. Feel free to vent yourselves by asking me questions that I'll answer with a flaky answer which essentially punts it to another person, or a suggestion that I'll write on a note pad that I'll later throw away."

Of course, that's assuming this guy is the Linden/organizer of this office hour. If not, then it's probably one of the dull multitude who hang around these hours doing nothing but watching as actual people try to conduct business around the lag you're causing by being there. I should know because usually I am the one sitting around doing nothing. At least I'm doing it out of spite. This poor fool probably hasn't realized that he's about as useful as a sack of corn.

Oh, and if this is a Linden? I'd like to give you a small notice that any thought, however tiny, you may have that Lindens are 'superheroes' doing the grid 'good'. I think that, if anything, Lindens would be like Bizarro Superman, who try to do good in their own perverse way but always pissing everyone else off in the process.

Ah, the solitude of a forest. A place where one can feel free of civilization and the constraints of having to answer your cell phone while driving, causing you to almost run me over because you have to dig through your purse to get the phone so you can chat to your friends about Bob. This is a true story, by the way. I was almost run over by a car last week because some idiot couldn't be bothered to pay attention to the stop lights. It's a good thing I always check the street even when I have the green light or else I'd be a road sandwich for the vultures. This same woman also cut off a SUV, literally scraping the bumper (which also alerted me to Cell Phone Idiot).

I'm so glad my life is worth less to this person than a call from her boss/friend/husband/children. I also love the excuse "I had an important business call!". Oh really? That call really couldn't wait and hit voicemail? What a joke. Do you honestly think YOUR boss answers every call? I doubt it, you'd probably get his or her secretary or answering machine.

I'd like to say that's the worst of it, but it does indeed get worse than answering a cell phone while driving. When I used to drive, I used to see morons of all stripes pouring cups of coffee and eating something or other (with no hands on the wheel on an Interstate) and once I witnessed a guy getting dressed inside his car. He was buttoning his jacket, doing his tie, and checking the overhead visor mirror to inspect his shave. How did I notice this? Because this guy zoomed past me and cut me and an eighteen wheeler off, crossing three lines of somewhat heavy traffic.


There are no sidewalks in this picture. There is an asphalt fully paved road directly against these buildings. The caption said it was Mediterranean, but this looks more Western adobe (albeit white) to me. It appears to be high noon so maybe there is going to be a shootout around here soon, thus the lack of anyone on the streets. It couldn't possibly that most people in Second Life have an aversion to any density greater than a village, we'll keep building city environments such as Bay City until those people inhabit it!

That's about it, I've hit the end of Dimitrio's photostream. It was a pleasure writing about them. It was much easier than actually going and taking pictures of my own.

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