Tuesday, November 13, 2007

At A Crossroads

I can see very clearly three paths laid out before me. I can see the lay of the road, the obstacles, the impending weather conditions, and the Emerald City at each terminal. I am at a crossroads, I think.

There's always a crossroads, even a straight path has a branch or a concrete tunnel a maintenance hatch. But some are minor, and don't affect any outcome. Do I get rocky road or vanilla ice cream? It doesn't matter in the long run, a detail lost to the winds in murky memories. But these three, these three are definitely choices that will have consequences. Take one route, and there will be a major impact. And likely, there will be no going back and this is it.

I honestly believe this will make or break my Second Life.

I am in a unique situation, or perhaps not so unique. You see, I have vectored into this very crossroads that offers three unique possibilities.

Actually, there is a fourth choice. But it is an unacceptable one, a route of failure before failing. I think you might have an inkling as to what I am referring.

So I have these three choices. And I can see each in detail. I think I understand how a chess player feels when they postulate seven moves ahead. I see the risk, investment required, and outcome of each and to be honest all three sound good on grey matter. The key is that once I choose one, I can't even attempt the other two. Why? Because each requires time and concentration that I simply don't have available unless I cut into real life responsibilities and I have a solemn oath that above all things Second Life, real life takes precedence. And each one would hog all of my attention. And therein lies the game.

Which one do I pick? Take too much time and I fall into the fourth and most unacceptable choice. Be hasty and I might regret not considering the other two. What do I want? What would make me happy? What would wear me down? What will I do? Could I keep this up?

All valid questions, yes? But we can't ask too many questions. Then we fall into information paralysis. This strikes many people in math and science, where the sheer volume of information overwhelms a person to the point where they just freeze, and nothing gets done. The volume of information is the high beam, and we're deer. The trick of the game is to be able to sort the relevant from the irrelevant and the necessary from the trash. Deer wearing sunglasses. And part of it is a learned skill, and part is luck, and part is talent. Like all things in life, really.

So what is relevant and what is extraneous? Identify the wheat and the chafe. And at this point, you might think I have succumbed to info paralysis, and that I should just get to the point. But that is the problem with decisions like this. At what point do we divide relevant and irrelevant? What separates the trivial from the important?

I keep coming back to this, you see? It seems to be the crux of the matter. My parents used to call it 'cutting through the crap'. And I have just served a hefty plate of crap just now. Perhaps I should just straighten my thoughts into a singularity. Arrange it out in the simplest possible terms. And there is no rush. But it is a decision that should really be resolved sooner rather than later. That's always for the best.

I guess I have a fear. A fear of choosing wrong. Or perhaps a fear of moving on. The now is fine, but it won't stay that way.

That's about it.

Also, I really need to have a talk with Blogger, and the way it triple (and sometimes quadruple) spaces my posts. It is getting just slightly annoying.

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