Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Excerpts From My SL Diary

Dear Diary,

Today, I found a most interesting person while walking down L-95 today. Traffic was light (high lag kept most people off the road, although a few jams at sim seams occurred with the flyers), so I drove.

I found him standing in the center of the road, and he seemed to be looking for something. He had the look of a newbie, so I decided to pull over and check it out.

"Hey there," I said, "whatcha doin?" He seemed puzzled. At first I thought he didn't understand English, or that he didn't know where to put in text to chat. I was all ready to leave when he responded with "im triyn to pick up my stufff".

Now this was interesting, don't you think so? Because there was nothing on the road there, 'cept my bike, me, and him. What stuffs was he looking for? Did SL eat his stuffs? Were they somewhere else? Was he delusional?

While I pondered the answers to these questions, I suddenly realized that my motorcycle and him were gone. Apparently, he was looking for my 'stufffs'. The SL insurance company doesn't believe me, either. They told me to tell it to someone who believes in fairies who live in Cloud KuuKuu Land. They then kicked me out when I tried to offer them proof of the KuuKuu fairies.

So I'm out a bike and insurance. ;_;

Dear Diary,

Today I bought a new car. I figured a car would be harder to steal than a bike, since I can lock the doors when I leave it to check something out.

So I head down L-95, and I see that new guy coming down the strip, riding MY motorcycle? Like, seriously, what the hell? You steal it and then ride it RIGHT IN MY FACE??

I was so angry that I lost concentration on the road, and I crashed into a casino. The mafia running it thought I was a griefer, and they blew me and my car up.

So Now I am out a car. ;_;

Dear Diary,

Today, I bought a boat! It is a small rowboat, but it is very fun to row about! And I don't have to see that jerk noob who took my bike and wrecked my car!

Rowing down a stream (LOL!) today, I passed under a bridge, when I saw him again! Riding my bike! With my license plates! He pretended he didn't see me, but I yelled and screamed at him! He stopped, and peered down at me in my little rowboat, yelling like a crazed person.

I got so angry that I didn't notice what he was really looking at, and that is when I hit some banlines which destroyed my boat and crashed out my SL client.

It hurt a lot. ;_;

Dear Diary,

Today I decided to stay home. I spent the day building a voodoo doll of that stupid stupid newbie. He is so stupid and dumb and evil! I wish he would get orbited so badly that his CPU melts and sets his pants on fire, and then his house, and then his dog, and then his face. And they'd call him Stupid Melty face.

But as I was crafting his stupid ugly right ear lobe, I saw him drive by through my window! Running my bike through mud! He was getting mud on the engine! It wasn't going to be shiny and new, but muddy and dowdy! How dare he!

SO I ran out and threw rocks at him. One missed and hit my neighbor in the head. When she got up, she AR'd me to the Lindens and now I'm banned for a week. A whole nunchuckdamn week! It was only a rock!

Next time I'll launch prim babies. ;_;

Dear Diary,

Today, I set up spike strips and land mines along L-95 so when he rides over it it'll pop his tires and he'll get in a horrible accident. haha serves him right!

My lawyer says that in retrospect I should have known it also would have caused a nine car pileup and medical emergencies from the pedestrians who stepped on it.

It might be a while before I write again. ;_;

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