Sunday, May 3, 2009

Jelly Beans

Jelly beans are a concoction of the devil. Not only does their gooey consistency encourage cavities and dental decay, their small size lures you into a devious slippery slope. One, on its own, tastes quite good. Two is better. But they're small so two can't hurt. A third is eaten on the basis that if two small ones are alright, three can't be much worse. It all goes downhill from there.

Candy corn is kind of similar. It is also a small confection that is irresistible. Thank the Lord that Halloween is the exclusive haunt of this candy. But jelly beans know no boundaries and that's what makes them so dangerous. They're an all year threat. They don't peg onto a single holiday, although they can be partial to Easter. This candy train never hits the last stop.

Someone needs to stop me. I'll just keep eating and eating them. I can't stop myself! Oh god, save me!

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