Friday, May 22, 2009

Parking Lots Everywhere

Philadelphia should be known as "Parking Lot Capitol of the World". The Birthplace of the American Revolution is also home to the Resting Places of the Automobile. Note this isn't even parking garages. This is parking lots. Flat surface parking lots. Even in the middle of Center City these lots dot the landscape. Imagine if, at Times Square, there was a giant parking lot on one side. If Times Square was in Philly, I guarantee there would be a parking lot there.

Fairmount Park is the largest park in Philadelphia, part of a large complex that dots the city. All things considered, it's rather lovely. If you found yourself there, only the skyline could convince you that, yes, you are in the City of Brotherly Shootings. In an otherwise dreary city, it's a breath of fresh air, indeed.

The City thought this over. Hmm, we have this rather nice park system. And we are in desperate need of cash (we recently had to close a ton of libraries among other things due to budget constraints). Lots of research was put into how to cut the deficit. They knew they wanted to do something with Fairmount. What could it be?

Oh! They had a flash of inspiration. And here was the great idea:

Well, they suggested catering facilities and museums. Ok, that sounds alright. Everyone likes catering while they're out. And museums are always nice to stand around in and say to yourself, "gee, that's a lot of stuff". Still, it didn't sound like enough...

Wait, let's make some meeting areas. Let's build some meeting houses in there. That sounds good. That's certain to bring in a lot of cash. But there's always...

Bigger better conference centers! Still...

Single family residences! Yes, for a price you can live in a park! A detached, single family dwelling. Is it a suburb or a city? A little bit of this, a little bit of that. But, if you think erecting residences in the middle of a supposedly public park is pretty bad, just get a load of their final idea...

wait for it...

wait for it...


wait for it...


C'mon, you know what's going to mentioned, right?

Yep, parking lots. Parking lots, which, begrudgingly, may be adjacent and a function of the above. It was killing them that they couldn't just be stand alone lots. And I'm not talking about the ol' unpaved dirt/gravel lot, either, which might blend in somewhat. No, this is asphalt. ASPHALT!

To give a sense of just how stupid this is, picture Central park. Now picture it riddled with parking lots. Yes, that stupid.

I swear, sometimes the City is trying to destroy itself. At least this proposal was shot down.

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